Perfectionism Counseling
When we work together to help you address your struggle with perfectionism, we'll explore the ways you engage the world from a perfectionistic lens and collaborate to develop a plan for recovery. Together, we'll develop an understanding of your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about yourself and others and how perfectionism shapes these perspectives. Together, we can pinpoint the ways perfectionism impacts your life and prevents you from living from a place of openness, acceptance, and authenticity. As we work together, you will be empowered to move through life better equipped to show up as your full self in the present moment.
​
If you're feeling like you're not enough and can't show up in your day-to-day life just as you are for fear that you'll let yourself and others down, then you might benefit from perfectionism counseling. While perfectionism can show up in your life in a number of different ways, for some, struggling with perfectionism may look like: avoiding projects, guardedness towards others, self-protection and shrinking who you really are, having trouble practicing boundaries with yourself and others, feeling anxious or worried about what others think of you, a paralyzing fear of failure, feeling sad or worthless, experiencing frequent shaming thoughts, self-comparison, and experiencing a lack of compassion for self and others.
While everyone's healing journey is their own, below I have outlined several focuses of perfectionism counseling I typically guide my clients through during the counseling process. Remember, healing is not a linear process. The purpose of the outline below is to highlight aspects of the counseling process we can work through together.
Focuses in Perfectionism Counseling
Coping Skills
When we start to work together to help you recover from perfectionism, I will help you build your personalized coping skills kit so that you will be better able to reduce the intensity of your symptoms in your daily life.
Boundaries
It is common to struggle with practicing boundaries with yourself and others when living with perfectionism. Part of our work will be learning to identify when and how to implement boundaries. Part of this work is learning to tolerate the discomfort of others' reactions to your boundaries.
Feel Your Feelings
I will hold space for you to feel your feelings without fear of judgment. Learning to feel your feelings, rather than avoid or numb them, is one of the most important practices you will develop to foster your mental health.
Vulnerability
You will learn how to show up as your authentic self, take healthy risks, pursue your dreams, and let yourself be seen in your life. Your thoughts and actions will begin to reflect your sense of worthiness instead of shame.
Self-Awareness
We will identify the root issues contributing to perfectionism. You will learn emotional literacy to help you talk about your feelings. You will learn to notice the messages your emotions are sending you to increase self-awareness. You will learn to reframe your thought patterns and beliefs that contribute to perfectionism.
Connection
You will learn to allow yourself to be deeply seen and known by the people who are most important in your life. You will learn to cultivate love, connection, and belonging with yourself, family and friends.
Perfectionism Counseling
When you struggle with perfectionism you might experience feelings of shame, unworthiness, anxiety, depressed mood, frustration, fear, and vulnerability. It's common to feel like you're not enough when you are dealing with perfectionism.
​
Sometimes struggling with perfectionism looks like high-achievement energy and success - but at a cost. If you're struggling with perfectionism while pursuing aspirations and dreams, you might struggle with finding a balance between life at work and life outside of work. You might overcommit yourself and find it difficult to say no. When experiencing perfectionism, you might not know how to rest or relax - you might expect yourself to operate at 100% at all times. You might not know how to have hobbies and do something for the fun of it, because everything feels like a skill you have to master or you feel like you have to be productive.
​
Other times, perfectionism looks like feeling overwhelmed and stuck in fear of failure. You might procrastinate or avoid projects or even things you enjoy because your critical inner voice drains you of confidence and energy. You might experience ruminating thoughts about the ways things can go wrong if you put yourself out there and try your best at something you really care about. You might be weighed down with shame, self-comparison, and vulnerability.
​
When you struggle with perfectionism it can be hard to make deep, meaningful connections with others. It can be difficult to build intimate relationships with others because to do so you have to embrace vulnerability, practice compassion and acceptance towards yourself, and show up in an authentic way. To have real relationships based on trust and openness, you have to show up as your real self, allow yourself to risk trusting others, and practice openness and honesty with yourself and with others.
​
When you choose to do the deep inner work of recovering from perfectionism, you will cultivate awareness and connection with yourself as you begin to learn your limits for optimal health and life balance. Through perfectionism counseling, you'll learn to notice, challenge, and reframe shaming and critical thought patterns. You'll grow in self-compassion and self-acceptance, which in turn will help you to respond to others with greater compassion and acceptance. You'll be empowered to pursue your aspirations and dreams from a sense of grounded confidence, clarity, insight, and leadership. As you embrace this journey of recovery you'll learn the skills needed to cultivate deep, meaningful connections with the people who mean the most to you. When you do this work, you will learn to embrace who you are and engage your day-to-day life as your authentic self.